Pumpkin Smashing

This post has almost nothing to do with pumpkins

I haven’t posted in two weeks.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve gone that long between posts, so I figure I owe you an update, even if you aren’t asking for it. In fact, the two-week break was probably nice for your email inbox. You’re welcome?

Before we get started, how about a slo-mo video of some pumpkin smashing? That way, we can get the whole pumpkin thing out of the way.

So why have I been uncharacteristically MIA? Well, there are a few reasons.

The truth is, each new line—yes, even this one—is a struggle to write. I keep finding myself stopping to stare at my fingernails. They are in need of trimming, and somehow that’s easier to focus on because my brain is a god-forsaken mess at the moment. Without getting into all the details of it, I’ll just say that I spend most days oscillating between unhappiness and guilt for feeling unhappy. I do the things I need to do and want to do while feeling guilty about not doing what I should do. This post is a perfect example. Why am I wasting my time on this when I could be spending it making revisions on my novel? Especially after sitting in front of a different computer all day, so a public company can make more money? My family, my friends, they are the lights in my life right now, and I’m so thankful for that. I’m just burnt out, I guess.

I thought I had my midlife crisis already. Maybe it’s going to be an annual thing from now on?

Anyway, my novel, Rue, is the main thing I’ve been working on lately. I’ve actually seen some bright moments of success with it. I’ve gotten to this weird point where I read things and go “wait, what if it went like this? Wouldn’t that be better?” and then wonder why I didn’t think of that during any of the last five read-throughs. I think that’s a good sign. It means I’ve finally gotten past my attachment to the words on the page and am looking at the merits of the story itself. If my writing is going to be successful, that has to happen. Let’s hope I get to that point more quickly with book #2!

I do want to resume my “On Writers” segment soon, both with new interviews and some Storytime. I’ve been holding off due to life obligations, but also because I know if I go on camera right now, I won’t be bringing my best self to all of you, and that feels like a bad idea. Moving on…

Tomorrow is an exciting day. First, we are priming the walls of our basement. It’s a dreaded task I’m ready to have finished. Perhaps even more dreaded is the next one: painting.

That’s not the exciting part, though.

Joe Hill

is coming to town, and I have a ticket to see him! I’ve been reading more of his stuff recently to prepare for the event, and I’m honestly blown away. I actually asked

Owen King

for a Joe Hill recommendation over in his Substack subscriber chat (they are brothers, if you didn’t know), and he told me to check out Strange Weather because it’s a collection and shows Joe’s range so well.

Boy, does it ever.

When I finished the first story in the collection (Snapshot), I got full-body chills. It’s been a good long while since that has happened. The writing was overwhelmingly beautiful, but a big part of my reaction is owed to the fact that Joe’s story reminded me so strongly of my experience with my late Grandma’s dementia.

So yeah, I’m pretty excited to see Joe in person tomorrow and get my signed copy of King Sorrow. By all accounts, it’s an amazing book, but I might need to throw away about five more to make room for it on my shelf…

And now, having typed this simple, ill-advised, uninteresting update for all of you—one that I probably should heavily trim down or delete altogether—I feel ready to dive into novel edits.

Yeah, I used you. I USED you!

Maybe someday you will get to read this novel, and it will feel like it was all worth it.

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