Great opening, great vibes. The way the wheel gets described at the end packs such a foreboding punch, and I feel like I'm already rooting for this family
This chapter hit hard. The tension in Jack’s daily life, trying to juggle work, family, and his own frustrations, felt so real. The Ferris wheel moment was especially striking. It feels like everything is just one wrong move away from falling apart. Can’t wait to see where this goes.
Thank you! I was super self conscious about this first section because the hook doesn’t happen here but I wasn’t feeling good about breaking it up differently.
Elephant ears are… round deep fried things with usually cinnamon sugar and butter on them but they can also do other toppings like custard or cream or whatever. Super bad for you.
Well done! It hits on a whole new level after just surviving Cherry Fest!
Thank you! And thanks so much for your help getting this thing ready for publication.
Great opening, great vibes. The way the wheel gets described at the end packs such a foreboding punch, and I feel like I'm already rooting for this family
I want more!
Great to hear, thank you!
This chapter hit hard. The tension in Jack’s daily life, trying to juggle work, family, and his own frustrations, felt so real. The Ferris wheel moment was especially striking. It feels like everything is just one wrong move away from falling apart. Can’t wait to see where this goes.
Thanks so much! It's so interesting to hear how others feel about a story I've been messing with for years. I appreciate you reading and commenting!
Your writing style is great! Clear, easy to understand, and beautiful to read. Keep writing, fellow writer!
Gosh, thanks so much! 🥲
I really enjoyed this! I laughed out loud at the Colby Jack 😂😂
I just have one question…what is an elephant ear??
Thank you! I was super self conscious about this first section because the hook doesn’t happen here but I wasn’t feeling good about breaking it up differently.
Elephant ears are… round deep fried things with usually cinnamon sugar and butter on them but they can also do other toppings like custard or cream or whatever. Super bad for you.
Great, now I want one 🤤